some thoughts...

so I'm blogging because I'm not sure where to put my thoughts, let me first say nothing major or life changing has happened.

I am just tired and my emotions are near the surface… So I'm going to write about it?
So right now I'm battling "what ifs'." But right now I'm wondering not if I did something that was stupid or wrong, but if I should have done something… I made a choice and said I won't do that now I wonder if I blew it, if I missed it. Now I'm stuck, for so many reasons, I am in limbo. I don't know what the future holds

I know right now I need to be focused on God and what He is teaching me in this moment. I need to bury myself in His amazingness and hold on to His love and thank Him with trembling for His grace. I need God to be my only source of strength and purpose. I need to fall in love with Him again, and it need to be a choice based not on emotion.

So I really just need to make sure that I am hanging out close to God all the time…

Talking about only helps some, so, the end.

The Forest

the forest... I have wandered in the forest, I strayed from the path, into the leafy undergrowth chasing what I thought I saw there. As I chased that thing, that elusive thing, the creature of wonder and promise, I found it always eluded me. Too late did I understand that it was a lie, just a trick of the forest, there only to trap me. I had run after it because I had thought it to be all that is good but I found that it was nothing but a lie. Then the forest surrounded me and on all sides there was nothing but trees the green of their branches hiding any signs of the path or the rest of the world. The branches that seemed to part before me now catch me and seem to grip me to hold me in that forest that seemed so wonderful, now keeping me from the very things that I need to survive. There is nothing to help me, to give me strength to survive and to grow. I don't know where to go, how to make it out of the forest. Then I hear it, not so much with my ears as with my heart, the voice of Truth it calls me in this direction. I know because it is much different than anything I have heard in this forest, it isn't a lie. The forest is full of lies and traps but the truth pulls me onward and guides me, the forest gives way, it's lies powerless. Finally, I am back on the path. This is a path that starts in the middle of the forest, there is only one way to go. It is an easy path to follow and I know that it leads to where I truly desire. *sigh* As I follow that path I come to a fork. I ask Truth for guidance and I wait. It seems as I wait the forest is reaching out it's leafy fingers for me, trying again to trap me. I know that to walk without knowing the true path will only lead me into a trap again, so I trust Truth and know He will answer, He will lead me to what is truly wonderful. So in the knowledge that I am on the path I wait and the forest cannot reach try as it might.

Romans 8:35-39 (NLT)
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Quick Update

So right now I'm in Leadville CO, tomorrow morning I'll be going snowboarding. The last 2 years my family has gone skiing here in Leadville. I have enjoyed skiing and I consider myself to be pretty good as I can ski black diamonds pretty easily and blues are just fun. So my brother and I are going to try snowboarding.

Also I want to say that taking photos has been going pretty well you can see them here: A Year in Pictures

God has been giving me a desire to fellowship with Him more which is good. :)

So tomorrow I'll be hitting the slopes on a snowboard tomorrow morning, wish me luck and pray I don't hurt myself.

My Goals for a new year

So I have decided to actually set some resolutions for this year.

1. I'm going to try to take at least one picture every day this year and upload them to an album on picasa also I'm going to pick my favorite for each week and post it to my blog.

2. As God gives me insights I shall try to post them to my blog as well, hopefully this will be every couple weeks.

3. I want to basically keep all my goals I also set for my birthday

so the goals I set for my birthday are:

1. Read my Bible more
2. Get in better shape by exercising
3. Continually surrender my life to Jesus
4. _________ (I'm not telling because I want to do this without people knowing it)
5. Talk to my family more
6. Break my struggle with sin...
7. Give my heart completely to God and let Him control my love and my desires
8. Let God shape me and the around me not let myself be shaped by he world
9. Go backpacking with Nathan
10. Write down the thoughts and insights God gives me
11. Read some of C.S. Lewis' non-fiction works
12. Acknowledge my gifts and give all the glory to God.

I'm going to insert my picture for the day :)

From A Year in Pictures...

Heaven (a few thoughts)

Originally written down 11-15-2009

I want to start this with an odd thought.

Heaven does not exist.

What I mean by that is heaven is not a place like Oklahoma is a place. It is not a specific point on either the physical or spiritual plane. Heaven is not on the spiritual plane. The spiritual plane is where both angels and demons dwell. What I believe heaven is, is prefect fellowship with God. Since God is everywhere and in everything heaven is not one place. When we fellowship with God we glimpse heaven. The more we fellowship with God the closer we are to heaven. Heaven is not something that we have to physically die to experience. Because of the sin in the world and our lives it is not possible to truly experience heaven here on earth We only get to see a little heaven while we are on earth.

This is on a little different though but I think we will not get to ‘heaven’ until after the end of time and after satan and his forces of evil are defeated. Then there will only be the bliss of God’s fellowship.